Postgame Spread
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

There's Juice In The Kitchen, That's For Sure    

In theory, only one news story could possibly trump J.J. Redick's pre-draft DUI arrest.  Only one piece of news could have made the arrest of basketball's most "clean-cut" player seem insignificant.  Well, that news actually happened.  Reader, behold...

J.J. Redick pees on girls.

Wow, wow, mf-ing WOW.  Rumor my ass!  It's true!!!  It has to be true.  Sure, this is piling on when the guy's down, and the two items are totally unrelated, but this golden shower business elevates the DUI story from a mere Reggie Love-level fiasco into one of the greatest weeks in the history of Maryland basketball.  If their forum's site hasn't crashed over the last couple days, their hosting company should get a raise.  Seriously, wouldn't Terps fans prefer a J.J. Redick golden shower scandal to another meaningless Final Four berth?  I know I would, though I'm not really a Terp fan.  More of a sympathizer.

Still, I would've given damn near anything for this to have happened a year ago, just to see what Maryland fans would do upon Redick's piss-soaked return to College Park.  The over/under on bags of urine thrown from the student section would've been at least fifty.  The Vegas odds on the game being suspended (due to excessive bag-throwing and pee on the court) would have to start out at like 7:5.

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