Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Phillie fandom, part II: Dude, Where's My 'Stache?    

Introducing Philadelphia's newest hero:

Salvatore Frank Fasano.

This guy is so South Philly it's ridiculous.

First off, there's this:

He has a whole section of the stands where fans (aptly named, "Sal's Pals") all paint on ridiculous moustaches. They bring sharpies and hand out stachings to all comers. Suffice to say, if you tune in to tomorrow night's Phillies/Red Sox game, keep an eye out for a certain blogger, newly 'stached.

Secondly, he's enormous, and not in the good way. He's listed as 6'2", 245, and I bet he's got that topped by at least 30 pounds. He's so big that he can't even crouch behind home plate- his knees would collapse. Instead, he literally sits his ass on the dirt awaiting each pitch like a guy on a couch. By some freak trick of biology akin to Rodney Dangerfield's Triple Lindy, he occasionally rises up and throws out basestealers, leading fans to shout, "You Got 'Stached!"

Fasano, demonstrating his tiger-style.

Tuesday night, he blocked the plate so well against Brewer J.J. Hardy that he pretty much ruined Hardy's ankle. You try sliding full speed into a 275 lbs. + dude sitting on a couch in full body armor sometime and tell me how it feels.

J.J. Hardy - You Got 'Stached!

He's the anti-Rowand. Rowand won over Philadelphia with the previously-referenced steel-girder-headbutt-catch, resulting in an impressive denting of his pretty face, but, luckily, no damage to his magnificent Jheri-curl.

"Is very bad to steal Sal's pudding. Is very bad."


  • A note of clarification: "Sal's Pals" will 'stache you with eye blacking, not a Sharpie. You'd have to really be a hardcore Sal's pal to take a Sharpie 'stache. With that kind of commitment, you might as well just grow your own moustaches.

    By Blogger gabe, at 11:40 AM  

  • is it bad that all day i've been staring at my sharpie here at work, thinking about prepping for tonight's game? Does that fit with Friday Business Casual?

    By Blogger Alex, at 2:28 PM  

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