Postgame Spread
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Monday, September 25, 2006

The Stretch    

The world of Philly sports has gotten more than a little exciting in the last couple weeks. The Eagles are looking like a top contender again, despite a 15 minute no-holds barred deep throat chug job against Manning III. And despite Javon Kearse's horrifying knee injury, this defensive line looks like maybe the best in the league right now. Travis Cole is awesome, by the way.

Oh, and there's the small matter that the Phillies are leading the wild card standings right now.

WHAAAAAAAAAA??????

I've been avoiding extensive comment on this, cause I don't want to jinx it like a Cole Hamels no-hitter, but I can't resist anymore. A couple months ago, they traded away their second best hitter (Abreu), their most popular player (Big Sal), and began a public smear campaign of their fourth best hitter (Burrell). If they pull this off, and make the playoffs, you sort of have to upgrade the Abreu-Lidle-Fasano fiasco from "Worst! Deal! Ever!" status to... well, I don't know what actually. Since the deal, the Phillies are on a tear of historic proportions, and are in position to stick it in the faces of an entire nation that poo pooed their decision making and competitive guts. Either that, or tear their fans' hearts out and devour them while they gang rape their little sister in front of their very eyes. Seriously. This next week will play out either as Major League IV (Back in the Illy), or as a live-action city-wide Aristocrats joke. And I'm sitting on ground zero, and enjoying every second of it.

Like I said, Philly's WAY more fun when our teams are good, because the fans are as passionate, ignorant, crazy, creative, and violence-prone as any in the nation, and the higher the stakes, the bigger the impending explosion when the end times come. Will the explosion be of joy (skeet), or of Steven A's head? And which to root for?

2 Comments:

  • Is there a way to skeet on Stephen A., thus making his head explode? You know me... whenever I do anything, I make sure I go deluxe.

    I'm actually pretty glad about this, more because neither wild card contender bodes poorly for me. If the Dodgers pull it out, it means more love for Nomar, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if the Phils win, there'll be riots in the non-existent fantasy realm of G-Ho, which obviously would also be good.

    I guess I'd lean towards the Phils, since we know Grady will fuck up something for the Dodgers. Besides, if the Phils are the hottest team of the moment, that makes them a prohibitive favorite to beat pretty much everybody else.

    But I also want to put it out there that they got hot exclusively out of collective F.U.-fueled spite. Invoking the name of Major League was the right thing to do. But the Abreu trade will not be re-evaluated from a talent perspective, EVER. It's still robbery. The thing to re-evaluate is whether there was ONE good thing about the trade. Which it now appears there was... it looks like Abreu was a distraction and Cory Lidle was a Grade A penis to his teammates, as Arthur Rhodes has indicated. So there's that.

    By Blogger Jeff, at 4:17 PM  

  • If Lidle's a Grade A Penis, Rhodes only knows it because he eats a bag of dicks.

    I like to think that there's a cardboard cutout of Abreu saying "you guys stink!" slowly being stripped in the locker room.

    Yowza

    By Blogger Alex, at 10:11 AM  

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