Sox/Yanks Analysis, Step 1: The Caboose

Now that pitchers and catchers have reported, I thought I’d begin a sure-to-annoy, endless string of Sox v. Yanks comparison posts by taking a look at the end of the road first, then working backward. Almost like we’re trying to figure out a maze.
So, without further ado, let’s analyze the likely closers for each team and see what it tells us, shall we?

Yankees: Mariano Rivera aka "GOAT"

In the news: made news yesterday by subtly reminding the front office that if they think they can give him the Bernie Williams treatment, they’re fucking stoned.
Recent accomplishments: Best in the business for the past decade, if not ever.
Salary: $10,500,000
Career saves: 413
2006 Stat line: 5-5, 34 saves, 1.80 ERA, 0.96 WHIP

Red Sox: Joel Pineiro aka (big sloppi)*

In the news: N/A
Recent accomplishments: Ranked 10th in the AL in losses, with 13.
Salary: $4,000,000
Career saves: 1
2006 Stat line: 8-13, 1 save, 6.36 ERA, 1.65 WHIP
* yes, Pineiro may not hold down the fort for long, but for now, he's the likeliest candidate, I believe.

So… analysis?

Uh, Rivera’s better?
Conclusion: Sox = PWNED!

Next up- a far more complicated analysis of the next car on the train, working backwards, remember… the set-up men/middle relief. Methinks this one will be a little closer.