Et Tu, Johnny?

Well, I don't know who to feel sorrier for, Red Sox fans or Yankee fans. OK, who am I kidding? I've never felt sorry for Yankee fans in my life. What I mean is, who do I think made out worse in this situation? This is one of those weird situations where it's probably good for Boston that they didn't sign Damon for a similar contract, but it creates major problems in the short run. And to compound the situation, it might not be bad for the Yankees that they signed him, because some of their other collossal financial mistakes will be off the books by the time Damon is likely to be a problem and they can deal with them then. And of course anything good for the Yankees is bad for Boston and (to a lesser extent) vice-versa.

I guess the real tragedy here is for Johnny Damon fans. It baffles me that major league baseball players still don't understand what primadonnas they sound like when they say things like:

"You know, I'm with mixed emotions. I'm very happy starting a new career. I'm sad to say goodbye to some of the greatest fans in the world. Unfortunately they had to see this day, but it's time for me to move forward...'I talked to Tito and I told him they had to really get going, . . . [I] had other plans. I'm not sure if they knew I meant it, but I'm a Yankee. Hopefully now they'll go off and get one of the center fielders they've been courting for the last month or so."

Earth to Damon: they weren't courting other center fielders, they were courting back up plans in case you were serious about your ridiculous contract demands. Contrast briefly with this statement:

"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they're going to come after me hard," he said on May 3. "It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need."

And yet you hire Scott Boras, demand a ridiculous 7-year deal and then skip town on the Sox, your loveable band of idiots because a) they got rid of Kevin Millar, who was *obviously* holding the team back and b) you had your little feelings hurt when they tried to figure out what to do if someone really offered you all that money. I'm not saying that if any of us were offered $52 million at the beginning of our decline phase, we wouldn't up and take all the money, but what's with all the posturing? And he's not even good at it, band of idiots indeed. No doubt the girls will go even crazier for him with all that ridiculous facial hair shaved off, but it's still sad to see people do this to themselves.

Speaking of girls going crazy, will Jeter and Damon hitting the clubs together have girls screaming and fainting like at Beattles concerts? Is Damon married? If not, or either way really, how long before the two of them have a threesome with the same girl? I've been thinking lately, and maybe A-Rod's just not actually cool enough to be that kinky. I could see Jeter intimating that it could be a good team building move, and A-Rod reflexively just saying, "that is disgusting." Damon the other hand...he'll party. Related question, how long before Damon and Jeter have an awkward kiss while some girl is sucking them both off and then they never speak to each other again a la Y Tu Mama Tambien? Best...celebrity...video...ever.

If the Sox can pry Reed away from Seattle without giving up a premium prospect, that could be a good deal for them that helps their financial flexibility over the next few years enormously. If they make the trade for Reed, and brought in a platoon partner for Nixon (can Eric Byrnes play RF?), that leaves them the money to keep Manny without worrying about it too much and keep their rotation intact, which is a terrifying one as presently constituted. Too bad this didn't all play out before Furcal signed, or this could have been a really, really interesting offseason in Boston. Then, next year or something, they can sign some other huge bat in right, and the dynasty lives on.

I like what Jeff has to say about the Sox options, but it's scary to think what they might have to give up to get Lugo. I might go with the stopgap until Pedroia's ready, if he can really play SS like they say. As Jeff points out, that leaves them without a reliable leadoff option. It's tricky, and since I have no real insight, I won't add any more to that particular conversation. What a shake up though. In conclusion, the Yankees find new ways to ruin baseball every year. Congratulations, assholes.