It Can't ALL Be Good News In Fort Myers...

It was a love-fest for a week.  Wily Mo Pena arrived.  Keith Foulke has rolled through his relief appearances since reemerging.  Schilling is healthy.  Beckett's on fire. Coco Crisp is hitting like 1700 on the spring.   The lineup is scoring runs at an alarming rate.  Sure, David "Baleen" Wells is being a pain in the ass, but in related news, the sky is blue, hell is hot, and fried chicken is delicious.  Really, the only significant negatives thus far have been a) Mike Lowell's bat speed, which I don't think makes or breaks anything right now, and b) the abysmal bullpen ERA, which can be chalked up to any number of factors before realizing that spring ERA isn't necessarily an indicator of anything.  The point is, no soap operas, no outrage, no controversy... just baseball.

That's why it's doubly disappointing to see that Julian Tavarez is back up to his old tricks.  I've never liked him, dating back to his Cleveland days, primarily because he's a gutless bitch.  I can't really substantiate that, mostly head-throwing stuff like what he did to Bagwell a couple years back.  He'd been on good behavior in recent years, though, plus or minus a broken dugout phone here and there.  I do know one thing for certain... he's an asshole.  (Dan Shaughnessy, here I come!)

Anyway, the streak of good behavior is over.  Tavarez has officially joined the six-year-old Devil Rays/Red Sox feud by sucker-punching Joey Gathright in the face.  The Globe has posted before and after photos here, which are terribly helpful in diagnosing the crime.  Let's see if you can decide whether Tavarez is guilty or not:



(If that wasn't enough to determine guilt or innocence, here's a hint.)

Normally, I'd say attacking Devil Rays is a good thing.  The Devil Rays are punk bitches, as immature and bush-league as it gets.  They carry themselves like losers, and it shows in their track record.  In fact, I'm surprised Tavarez hasn't signed with them yet, because they'd be a perfect match.  But this is just silly.  Tavarez didn't even wait for the season to start before making me give up on him.  What does he have to prove to a bunch of nobodies like Tampa?

Anyway, the whole thing is embarrassing, and I'd rather forget it ever happened.  Which I'll do now.  Hey, wha' happened?!?!?