Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Doin' It For The Shorties    

Short, half-eaten bites of ideas...

* Daisuke Matsuzaka is indeed looking like the next Pedro Martinez: no run support.

* I'm sad that the Penguins are about to lose to Ottawa.  I like them.  I've become accustomed to seeing my pet playoff picks make it out of the first round... how can I lose my new friends so soon?  Those stupid Ottawas are stupid.

* The Lions are finally in position to draft a franchise quarterback, franchise defensive lineman, franchise offensive tackle, or god knows what else, and the top player available to the Detroit Lions at #2 will be... another wide receiver.  Do it, Matt.  Do it.

* Obama/Arenas '08.  Does Agent Zero realize he can't stuff these ballots the traditional way?

* Bye, Joey Crawford.  One down, and like fifty to go.  How can a league of the NBA's caliber have zero quality referees?  At least the NFL has a few winners like Ed Hochuli mixed in with its motley crew of lineman-blinding, whistle-swallowing, coin-flip-mangling morons.  The only thing the NBA has going for it is gender equality... along with all their idiotic, spiteful male refs, they employ an equally idiotic and spiteful woman (Violet Palmer).  I'm still a little amazed that the NBA actually suspended Crawford; it might be the very first fitting punishment handed down in Der Führer's tenure.

* On a different topic, Stern made an excellent point in a TV interview last night regarding recent calls to revamp the lottery process.  He reminded us that the lottery first consisted of seven envelopes pulled at random, one per team, so as to prevent tanking.  But anyone who's heard the "cold envelope" story knows how much trouble Stern got into when the Knicks won the Patrick Ewing lottery.  So I doubt we'll see any meaningful changes... certainly nothing to deter tanking, that's for sure.

* Finally, if I run that lottery simulator one more time and see Joakim Noah going to Boston at #3, I'm going down to Bristol and hosing down Chad Ford's light blue Datsun hatchback with a gallon of liquid turds.



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