There are a number of reasons I have been silent on the subject of football so far this fall, apart from my recent obsessing about baseball. The first is probably obvious. The Colts have gotten burned so bad in the past few years despite looking so good that I've been left with very little to say. What do I have to offer? "Oh yeah, well, this year they have homefield advantage, so the cold won't be an issue?" Or maybe, "For once they might just have the edge on defense as well, so watch out?" Those things are true but it's inevitably exposed as posturing. Whether I like it or not, I've been effectively shut up by the Patriots and by repeated, and high-profile, failure.
The other thing is that writing about the Colts is kind of confusing for me because it all gets wound up in this sort of autochthonous (bonnnnng), circular kind of anxiety about sports loyalty without any connection to place. I had a whole post this earlier this fall about all these issues and what it all means and all that, but I decided it was too much to ask anyone to read. Maybe after this season is played out I'll revisit it. Suffice to say for now that in the fall of 2000, when the Colts somehow solidified themselves as my team (mostly through a series of improbable comebacks, a last minute playoff berth, and a whole lot of playing Andrew at Madden '99), this was already worrisome. I was already getting sensible lectures about why I should be a Seahawks fan. Now, with all the fuss about Manning and greatness and choking and the Patriots and everything (not to mention the Seahawks recent success), it's turned into a complete obsession. And yet, it still feels very out of my control, as being a fan always is. If they win the Superbowl this year, or if they don't, it's going to get worse, because the situation is inherently unstable.
Lehr doesn't have to worry about this because as a fan he has no soul, a direct result of being a Yankees fan, that has either comically or tragically (I can't tell which) driven him to root for Duke as well. This obviously makes the whole enterprise of his loyalties already a caricature of itself that is unaffected by the Bronco love. I suspect this phenomenon is probably the worst single thing that happens to people born in New York (with certain exceptions) simply because they are born in New York, this total distortion of all things right and normal about sport loyalty. That Lehr of all people is rooting for a team that demands everyone get the same awful Republican haircut depresses me to no end, but that's sports for you. We can't control these things. Obviously, the Yankees distortion works just as powerfully in the opposite direction, as I constantly worry about the ways in some team I am rooting for might resemble the Yankees in some capacity. This is almost certainly a part of my Colts obsessing and probably more ridiculous than anything Lehr does as a fan. Oh well.
But I think the biggest reason that I'm uncomfortable saying much of anything about the Colts this season is that it's gotten to the point for me that one Superbowl victory will only partially erase the humilliation of the past number of years of sports for me. Winning this year, if it happens, might make up for choking last year, but I'm still burning about the year before and the year before that and the year before that. Now that the 16-0 season is out of the picture, it willdefinitely take at least two Superbowl wins. And maybe it will take an AFC championship game victory in Foxboro in the snow against a Patriots team that looks at least as good as the team that beat them the last two years. I still have trouble accepting that last year's team wasn't historically great and so, until they have proven themselves as historically great, I won't be satisfied.
I think this springs directly from my psychology as a Seattle sports fan. That's partially about the collapse of the mid-90s Sonics without a ring, but it has a lot more to do with the Mariners. I feel humiliation that we were unable to build a championship in 1997 around arguably the best center fielder, short stop, and starting pitcher in baseball at the time, none of whom had prohibitive contracts. I feel humiliation that 2001's 116 win season was reduced to a historical footnote by losing to the Yankees. And I feel potential humiliation that it looks to be a challenge to build a World Series team around Ichiro to silence his critics. However foolishly, I have believed in the possibility of historical greatness in each of these things and, unsurprisingly, found it elusive.
So, Jeff, I obviously have no ground, even this year, to contest your assessment of the Patriots ability to beat the Colts this year. But you can bet that I will be both incredibly surprised and further humiliated if it happens. Because I believe this team, as I did last year, might be historically great. That's probably stupid, but there it is. And that, Kelvin, is why I'm not writing about football.
The other thing is that writing about the Colts is kind of confusing for me because it all gets wound up in this sort of autochthonous (bonnnnng), circular kind of anxiety about sports loyalty without any connection to place. I had a whole post this earlier this fall about all these issues and what it all means and all that, but I decided it was too much to ask anyone to read. Maybe after this season is played out I'll revisit it. Suffice to say for now that in the fall of 2000, when the Colts somehow solidified themselves as my team (mostly through a series of improbable comebacks, a last minute playoff berth, and a whole lot of playing Andrew at Madden '99), this was already worrisome. I was already getting sensible lectures about why I should be a Seahawks fan. Now, with all the fuss about Manning and greatness and choking and the Patriots and everything (not to mention the Seahawks recent success), it's turned into a complete obsession. And yet, it still feels very out of my control, as being a fan always is. If they win the Superbowl this year, or if they don't, it's going to get worse, because the situation is inherently unstable.
Lehr doesn't have to worry about this because as a fan he has no soul, a direct result of being a Yankees fan, that has either comically or tragically (I can't tell which) driven him to root for Duke as well. This obviously makes the whole enterprise of his loyalties already a caricature of itself that is unaffected by the Bronco love. I suspect this phenomenon is probably the worst single thing that happens to people born in New York (with certain exceptions) simply because they are born in New York, this total distortion of all things right and normal about sport loyalty. That Lehr of all people is rooting for a team that demands everyone get the same awful Republican haircut depresses me to no end, but that's sports for you. We can't control these things. Obviously, the Yankees distortion works just as powerfully in the opposite direction, as I constantly worry about the ways in some team I am rooting for might resemble the Yankees in some capacity. This is almost certainly a part of my Colts obsessing and probably more ridiculous than anything Lehr does as a fan. Oh well.
But I think the biggest reason that I'm uncomfortable saying much of anything about the Colts this season is that it's gotten to the point for me that one Superbowl victory will only partially erase the humilliation of the past number of years of sports for me. Winning this year, if it happens, might make up for choking last year, but I'm still burning about the year before and the year before that and the year before that. Now that the 16-0 season is out of the picture, it will
I think this springs directly from my psychology as a Seattle sports fan. That's partially about the collapse of the mid-90s Sonics without a ring, but it has a lot more to do with the Mariners. I feel humiliation that we were unable to build a championship in 1997 around arguably the best center fielder, short stop, and starting pitcher in baseball at the time, none of whom had prohibitive contracts. I feel humiliation that 2001's 116 win season was reduced to a historical footnote by losing to the Yankees. And I feel potential humiliation that it looks to be a challenge to build a World Series team around Ichiro to silence his critics. However foolishly, I have believed in the possibility of historical greatness in each of these things and, unsurprisingly, found it elusive.
So, Jeff, I obviously have no ground, even this year, to contest your assessment of the Patriots ability to beat the Colts this year. But you can bet that I will be both incredibly surprised and further humiliated if it happens. Because I believe this team, as I did last year, might be historically great. That's probably stupid, but there it is. And that, Kelvin, is why I'm not writing about football.
7 Comments:
1. Winning once erases everything. Trust me.
2. That having been said... Kelvin, you're kidding me. Apart from the numerics, Jesse's stance is totally valid.
To a degree, it doesn't matter how good your team is if they don't win a title. Will people remember the 90s-00s Sacramento Kings? No, because they always blew it against LA despite being so dominant. How about the Buffalo Bills? They're a laughing stock; their own fans are ashamed of themselves. And there's no need to add a single goddamn thing concerning the pre-2004 Red Sox. If you don't win, you're Spaulding Smails... you'll get nothing and like it.
If your point is that he should appreciate his historic team, fine. But he qualified his remarks by saying exactly that... he fears that his team will fall into the Sacramento crevice. Given what has happened over the last few years, he is entirely justified to feel that way.
By Jeff, at 5:53 PM
Re: post #1
Kelvin, I think you're probably right to be irritated (part of the point of the post was being introspective about the annoying nature of the whole thing), but I also think you've missed what I was actually trying to get across. If you feel like it was a whiny post, that's certainly your prerogative, but in no way was it written in search of any sympathy. And I wasn't trying to convey, nor do I think I feel, any sense of entitlement either.
As far as the Yankeeness goes, Jeff's first point pretty much says it. No team that I have ever considered "my team" during a season has ever won a championship. I don't know what it will be like for me (assuming it happens some day), but it's unlikely that I will continue to feel like I need more to be fully satisfied. If anything, with regard to the Colts at least, it will be more of a crisis moment of, "Who am I to really be enjoying this? What I am doing rooting for this team?" I'm not saying that's not annoying, but I won't be doing any gloating, which is the key feature of Yankeeness to me.
The point is not that I feel like I've suffered particularly over the past five years and so I need more than a championship to rectify my own personal woes. In fact, I think all this would go away just as well without a superbowl win if the season it included beating a full-strength Patriots team in the playoffs in Foxboro in the snow. That's more to me than the 16-0 season plus championship would have been (or might be next year). If anything, the whole historically great issue is more hopelessly idealistic than wallowing.
And whether or not the Colts were the #1 seed is completely irrelevant. The point is, I've believed the Colts might be the best team in football for like 4 years now. Last year and this year I have belived and do believe that they might be one of the best teams ever. It will take more than a 13-3 season + championship to justify that belief retroactively. In fact, it's probably impossible to justify it at all, and I'm now living in the past in an annoying way. But I think that's a natural part of being a fan, dwelling.
I think the 5 years thing is a little misleading maybe, because that's about how long I've been interested in sports at all. So, while my 5 years doesn't stack up against any superfan's lifetime, it has a certain added gravity that the last 5 years to someone who has been watching sports their whole life probably does. But I'm certainly not trying to say I have it bad as a football fan. That's exactly why I feel so weird about it, which was the point more than anything else. Why there's nothing I can say, really, about football. Sorry if it was too much introspection for you.
By Jesse, at 8:57 PM
Re: post #3
Ugh. Kelvin, Jeff's comment is hardly without it's own little barb. Imagine the Redskins at some point were touted as a great team but lost high profile playoff games to a number of teams over the years but especially the 49ers or something and then some 49ers fan said to you, before the Redskins made it over the hump:
"you're just afraid that your team will fall into the [insert team who never won a championship here] crevice. Given what has happened over the last few years, you're entirely justified to feel that way."
You'd be furious. Anyway, that's not to say that I don't appreciate that Jeff actually took the time to read what I said and respond, but it's hardly fellating. Of course now I'm probably "s'ing" his "d", so I hope you're enjoying the show.
As for your broader point, if I'd been doing anything like this over the past years, you'd see plenty of appreciation for all kinds of individual moments and accomplishments over the years. The Monday Night comeback against Tampa Bay was one of the most enjoyable viewing experiences of my life. Beating the Broncos in Denver in the snow on a long-ass field goal by Vanderjagt before he proved what an ass he was made my fall. And I even took enormous satisfaction in beating Buffalo last year because of the way they uncharacteristically kept the ball on the ground and let Edge handle the comeback, even with time counting down. And good god, there's nothing I can even say about the perfection of the Kansas City playoff game.
I'm not unappeciative of those things, and I'll remember them plenty fondly in another 10 years I'm sure, as I do now. Moreover, I'm continuing to enjoy watching the Mariners, and following them obsessively, so it's not like I only care about championships.
For now, though, regular season Colts games (which I never even get to watch) don't really mean anything to me. And I don't think that's because I'm greedy; it's because this Colts team has proven everything they can prove in the regular season, with partial exception of 16-0.
But whatever, if you think it's stupid to want proof that one's team is historically great instead of just very, very good, I think I agree with you. It is stupid, but that's where I'm at.
By Jesse, at 9:05 PM
After further reflection, I've decided you're right about the 2 superbowls comment. That is just annoying. I've struck through it to retract it without denying that I did in fact say it.
By Jesse, at 9:16 PM
Typical Schleif. Start a fight, then walk away and say "whatever" when someone challenges you. (Optional: also accuse person of being gay.)
You know goddamn well that if the Redskins started making the playoffs perenially, getting first-round byes and whatnot, and every year they pulled a Schottenheimer on you in the playoffs, you'd be hating on them more than Jesse would ever even think of hating on Peyton and the Colts. Let's see the Redskins go 14-2 next year, then lose to Dallas in the playoffs, and see how you like it when you receive a copy of this thread in the mail, autographed by me.
I do think the 2003-05 Colts will be remembered regardless of whether they win. Not as much as the Pats, barring unforeseeable future events, but certainly more than many forgettable champions, like the 2002 Buccaneers. They're far more memorable than other (thus far) unsuccessful teams, like the early 2001-03 Raider teams that Gannoned themselves in the foot every year.
By Jeff, at 12:55 AM
This was really funny:
"This was about the time when everytime Manning would get to the line he would start pointing and telling everybody where to go and they would false start about 1/3 of the time. Or if they didn't, he would then throw a dump off to edge for 4 yards."
I'm still not sure that the audibling wasn't awesome, but I'm coming around. And I hope I made it clear that I definitely have subsequently realized that I was deluding myself. For last year and this year, I'm not as sure yet, but I basically agree with your assessment for 2002-2003.
I do however completely disagree that the Colts were not as good as the Steelers last year. Obviously, the Steelers had the better record, but I think any Pats fan, going into that postseason, even with the recent dominance over the Colts, was more afraid of the Colts. Their D had improved a lot, and I think may have even had the most takeaways or something like that. I'd say it was the best ratio, but I'm sure Peyton was geting intercepted a fair amount...I'm not sure.
Anyway, I'm still not convinced that last year the Colts didn't just tank that game against New England because they choked like crazy. And I'm certainly not convinced that they weren't the second best team in football last year, and I don't imagine very many non-Pennsylvanians are either.
And yeah, if the Colts don't win this year and start to fade because they don't have the necessary financial flexbility because of Peyton's contract, I will be pretty upset. I'm very skeptical of that contract, and if it ends up hurting the long-term viability of the team, it's going to be hard to continue Peyton for much of anything.
By Jesse, at 8:49 PM
The Colts were a clear #2 to the Pats last year, regardless of the Steelers' record. The Steelers posed/pose no threat to me whatsoever. If the Colts are the Red Sox to the Pats' Yankees, the Steelers are like the A's or something. Totally irrelevant.
Much as I've made fun of Peyton, I believe he and the Colts are capable of figuring it all out eventually. I also believe they would have torched the shit out of Pittsburgh if it'd come to that.
By Jeff, at 9:50 AM
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