Aftermath

Well, it happened. The Colts choked in a big enough way that no one can really ever blame their failures on much of anything else again. And so, any excuse about the snow or the ingeniousness of Bellicheck ability to get inside the Colts collective head can be discarded. So, whither my relationship with the Colts?

First, the game. I consider the missed field goal karma for the overturning of the Polamalu interception, so I'm not interested in that. I'm mad they even ended up in a field goal situation there to begin with. I think, as I know Jeff does, that it was inexcusable for Peyton not to get a play off before the two minute warning, and I hated the play calling on that drive. Given that fumble, the time left, the timeouts left, and the quantity of options the Colts have at their disposal, I see no reason why that drive couldn't have resulted in a touchdown, except failure. And while that's bad enough, it's obviously not the main problem with the Colts that game, considering that the game should have been over twice already, though they're arguably related.

It goes without saying that Peyton was horrible for most of the entire game, except for a few flashes of brilliance that while great, might have been just as possible for someone like Jake Delhomme as well. However, much as there is to criticize about Peyton's performance, I'm not really sure that was the whole story. There were, as he so eloquently put it, problems with protection, but that's not what I'm talking about either. Watching the first half, it didn't really look to me like Peyton was screwing up, exactly. It looked like there was a good chance that the receivers weren't where they were supposed to be, which doesn't make any sense. You could call them undercoached or something, and (without any ill feeling toward Dungy considering the horrible winter he has had) I think that may be true. Actually it wouldn't be calling out Dungy anyway, because I think the defense did everything you could ask of them, apart from clearly gambling on the Steelers to put it on the ground right away, which was boneheaded but understandable. And I'm not sure how involved Dungy generally is in his offense's preparation.

And none of that explains to me why receivers on the Colts would be in the wrong places in the first place. Chokers, schmokers, isn't this is a well-oiled offensive machine? It's not like Wayne hasn't been on the team for years--how does it come about that he and Peyton are arguing about what the route was, at home, in the playoffs? There was genuine confusion about what was supposed to be happening on that football field. So, I'm not sure, but I feel like more was going on there than Peyton tanking it. I would love to heap everything at Peyton's feet, say I love the team but hate Peyton, protect my sports fan cred, and be done with it. But I think something much more collective happened in that collapse. I don't know if the Colts got cocky, got scared, got complacent, or have started to hate eachother, or what. But they did something along those lines, together, because they stunk, together.

So what now? Apologies for the length of this, but I'm going to reach back a little bit and recreate where I was at before the 16-0 hype and the losses and the playoffs. This is part a post I wrote earlier this fall but didn't put up because I thought it was too long and too introspective and annoying:

The thing that makes [being a Colts fan] a big issue instead of a minor peculiarity of my sports allegiances is the place that the Colts occupy in the NFL right now. I feel like—or perhaps I should say that I'm quite sure that—proclaiming one's status a Colts fan right now, particularly a Colts from with no legitimate ties to the state of Indiana, carries with it certain implications. It implies to some people that you're likely to make excuses for a team of chokers. It implies to some that you value statistical accomplishments more than playoff wins. For some, it implies that you are hopelessly convinced that being a more cerebral quarterback is the same as being a better quarterback. It demonstrates that you're willing to continue to root for a team that has been for multiple seasons the complete and utter bitch of the New England Patriots. Worst, and most fundamentally, it indicates that you're probably a frequent rider of bandwagons.

I do have a demonstrable affinity for also-rans, but I hate the idea that people think of me as a bandwagoner per se, or for people to think that I make excuses for or explain away the utter inability of Peyton and company to defeat Bellicheck's boys (though I’m sure I’ve been a little guilty of that from time to time). There’s just no question that the whole situation demands an explanation. Does it reflect who I am as a sports fan? Should I be trying harder to be a good Seahawks fan?

I usually tell people that the reason I’ve been a Colts fan these past few years is a confluence of having a lot of good will for the franchise left over from the 1995 playoffs, playing them almost exclusively on Madden ‘99 during the fall of 2000, and watching the team improbably reach the playoffs that same fall with a couple of crazy come-from-behind victories and a big upset. But who am I kidding? I can’t remember a single play from the ’95 playoffs and all I did on Madden was throw screen passes to Marshall Faulk and watch him dodge tacklers all the way to the endzone. No, when it comes right down to it, all it took was watching that team 5-6 times during the fall of 2000, and I was hooked.

But now I have the capacity now to root for a team that will likely contend in the NFC West more years over the next decade than they won’t. It has critical flaws, but some exciting defensive players and a running back with a winning smile that’s a perennial fantasy football superstar. What’s missing? Is it just that I allowed another allegiance to sneak up and occupy the space the Seahawks should be holding down? I think people who think that rooting for the home team is the most important part of being a good sports fan or who hate all the Colts and Manning hype would probably say yes. I understand where they’re coming from. They even make me feel uncomfortable enough about my stance that I’m willing to write over a thousand words trying to explain myself.

But here’s the thing. I may love Seattle and Washington, but I just don’t feel any need to root for a team I don’t like just because it’s home. And I have never liked the Seahawks. I feel like I should be working on that now, cultivating my fanship, trying to get excited about Seahawks players, especially since the Colts hype threatens to be truly insufferable if the improved defense can finally dethrone the Pats. But I don't know how. And is there a single player on the Seahawks I like as much as Dwight Freeney or Marvin Harrison? Not even close. Add the excitement of rooting for Edge to have big games in the shadow of Manning’s passing and the bottom line is that I’m still hooked. I may have a burgeoning distaste for Manning himself, but I still have incredible faith in his abilities when the team is behind, which is a pretty powerful drug. And the only reason that I have any self-consciousness about the idea at all is my built in fears about rooting for the team with the most media hype.

So what does this loss mean in light of all that?

Obviously, the whole thing is pretty tarnished, and yet in most important ways it feels just as out of my control as it ever did. Harrison, Freeney, Edge, and Wayne are probably all my favorite players at their respective positions at this point. So, if they stay in Indy, I'm pretty much a goner. And I'm ok with that. Painful as it was, there was also something clarifying in this loss. I no longer have to root for them to prove they were better than New England all along. Even my dumb ass can now accept that this is so obviously untrue that it isn't even worth pining for. All of that playing for history I wrote about a few weeks ago, well, it's officially impossible. So, I can root for them to get over the hump, to finally not choke, and already that doesn't feel like such a bad way to be a fan. I'm an always-the-bridesmaid kind of guy when it comes to sports; these teams suck me in with some consistency. And admitting that to being a fan of a bunch of chokers is the first step to recovery, right?

But what if Edge and Wayne skip town this offseason and Harrison starts making his dissatisfaction with the situation known or something? Then I really only have the Colts as a franchise, Harrison (maybe), Dungy (probably), and Manning. I really like Dungy, and I want good things to happen to him, but I could say the same about a lot of other people in the NFL. The Colts as a franchise have some real pull for me, somehow, beyond the players on the field, but I have to believe that's not all that stable. And I'll always root for Marvin, but one guy is sort of an empty justification for being a fan of a whole team.

Which brings us back to Manning. Manning, Manning, Manning. So what the hell to do with the fact that I've been rooting for this guy for the last 6 years? Having accepted the whole choker thing, I'm even willing to find his choking sort of loveable (though I'm really pissed about the two minute warning). But what about the comments? Selling out his offensive line? Sports commentators everywhere, including on this very site, have all basically said it was totally reprehensible. Proof that he is not a leader, probably proof of narcissistic self-centeredness and all the rest. Simmons even had the balls to say that he wasn't even sure A-Rod would have made that remark. That's potentially true, I suppose, but if so it's only true because he would be too worried, in an equal or even more self-centered way, about what his teammates might say about him.

I'm not defending the comments, just defending A-Rod as king of the sports schmucks. Which team is he on for the WBC again? I can't believe there's still stories about that. Anyway, it's not like Manning has really done all that much preening for the media. After Katrina, when sob stories about Favre's destroyed house were all over TV, Manning was quietly donating money and helping out. I don't really see a lot to dislike about his usual relationship with the media. Not necessarily a whole lot to love, but I don't see a whole lot of quarterbacks out there that have great qualities that I should be worshipping. They're athletes, and barring something truly awful, that's how I'll judge them (which doesn't bode all that well for Manning right now). But what a shame, in retrospect, that McNair had to share his MVP with Manning. That one should have been his.

So, here's what I think of the comments: Yes, they prove he's not a true leader. Yes, they were a horrible thing to point out, especially since they were already obvious--sort of a reverse-psychology media move that could be a textbook definition for the opposite of savvy. But, honestly, I dare anyone to fight off all their disappointment in that situation and not harp on their teammates. The third consecutive year of feeling like this was their year, all after losing 41-0 against the Jets...it would be enough to make an ass out of anybody. He screwed up. I hope he feels bad about it, I hope he apologizes, and I hope he still feels a little bad about it after apologizing. But I'm not going to hold any single postgame interview against anybody. If he's able to keep this team together in the wake of all this disappointment and finally win a superbowl, that'll be evidence enough for me that he rectified his relationships with his teammates and learned from this mistake a little bit about leadership.

So there it is. I'm still a sucker, so be it. We'll see what happens if the team implodes this offseason. And I'll never think they're the best team in the NFL again until they've actually taken the title from somebody. But it feels like I'm still on the bandwagon, for now.