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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Closer music    

Mostly a stupid column, but I think Simmons' no. 19 way to make sports better was pretty brilliant:

Fans get to vote on entrance music for their closers. If Detroit fans want to saddle Todd Jones with Tom Petty's "Stop Dragging My Heart Around" or Nirvana's "Rape Me," that's their choice. Also, all teams are required to use the bullpen car again. I miss the bullpen car.

The bullpen car is a nice enough idea, but obviously, I'm talking about the music. So, I know we've talked about this before, but what are your picks? Obviously, Lehr can't get enough of "Enter Sandman," and I was a big fan of Oakenfold's "Nightmare" for Sasaki. But lets stick to songs that as far as we know, no one uses. Does anyone come out to "Seven Nation Army?" Someone must, it's such an obvious choice. Since we all have closers we're pretty excited about, that's the first order of the day, coming up with a ballot of songs to vote on. While it would never fly, I nominate Technique's "Point of No Return."

But ultimately more interesting is what to make crappy closers come out to. Suggestions? What would you make Derrick Turnbow come out to this year? Or Jose Mesa or Latroy Hawkins when they were closers? Arthur Rhodes? Feel free to offer any other hillarious examples from the past you can think of.


  • If anyone's getting "Rape Me," it's Rudy Seanez. Is there a way that Kurt Cobain can rise from the dead and literally rape Rudy?

    OK, so let's get this over with:

    Jonathan Papelbon - "Big Balls" by AC/DC
    Mariano Rivera - "Losing My Edge" by LCD Soundsystem
    B.J. Ryan - "America (Fuck Yeah!)" from Team America
    Chris Ray - "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora
    Seth McClung - "Send In The Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim

    Todd Jones - "Rape Me" by Nirvana
    Joe Nathan - "Du Hast" by Rammstein
    Bobby Jenks - "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen
    Fausto Carmona - "Lose It" by Eminem
    Ambiorix Burgos - "Yakety Sax (theme from Benny Hill)" by Boots Randolph

    Huston Street - "Welcome To The Terrordome" by Public Enemy
    Francisco Rodriguez - "Get In The Ring" by Guns N' Roses
    Akinori Otsuka - "One In A Million" by Guns N' Roses
    J.J. Putz - "Straight Outta LoCash" by CB4

    Billy Wagner - "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
    Tom Gordon - "Chocolate Salty Balls" by Chef
    Bob Wickman - "Theme from 'Cliff Hangers'" from The Price Is Right
    Chad Cordero - "Vats of Urine" by Dangerdoom
    Joe Borowski - "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis

    Jason Isringhausen - "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes" by Frank Zappa
    Eddie Guardado - "Killing In The Name" by Rage Against The Machine
    Brad Lidge - "Rocket Man" by Elton John
    Derrick Turnbow - "Rocket Man" by William Shatner
    Ryan Dempster - "Derka Derk (The Terrorist Theme)" from Team America: World Police
    Mike Gonzalez - "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers

    Trevor Hoffman - "Lux Aeterna" by the Kronos Quartet
    Takashi Saito - "Wait" by The Ying Yang Twins
    Brian Fuentes - "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff
    Armando Benitez - "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand
    Jorge Julio - "Piss On You (Remix Edition)" by Dave Chappelle

    By Blogger Jeff, at 10:56 PM  

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