Vick

I have nothing really to add to this story, because Salon's King Kaufman already said it all, so I'll just defer to him:

While I want to make it clear that no known instrument is powerful enough to detect my interest in whether Michael Vick smokes marijuana on his days off, I'm confident you'll join me in saying:

What the??

If Vick's guilty here, that means his need for marijuana is so great that he has invested in specialized equipment to help him smuggle it -- between Miami and Atlanta? I've never lived in either city, but I'm guessing that for a superstar millionaire athlete, it's not hard to find some nice smoke if you really need it. Miami is not exactly known as a dry town, drug-wise.

Or maybe Vick used his custom-made water bottle to smuggle drugs some other place. Into church or something, or across a border. It's unclear from the police report quote if the screeners found marijuana or just residue. That would make more sense, but still: Hello, Michael? Wash the bottle.

I'm hoping that Vick is innocent. I think the youth of America should be able to expect better than this from its sporting heroes. If you're going to smuggle drugs, at least put some thought into it.

Seriously. Good lord, how does this happen to any celebrity?