Insert Joke Here

>From Yahoo:

Matsuzaka threw three scoreless innings for the Boston Red Sox when he faced major league hitters for the first time Tuesday. Dice-K allowed two hits, walked one and struck out three against the Florida Marlins.

Damn copy editors.  Let me fix that for them.

Matsuzaka threw three scoreless innings for the Boston Red Sox when he faced minor league shitbags for the first time Tuesday. Dice-K allowed two hits, walked one and struck out three against the Gonorrhea Bay Turdburglars.

Ahhhh, much better.  I'll go to my grave wondering how he retired Scott Seabol and Eric Reed.  What a jam!