Postgame Spread
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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Abandon Ship!    

Not to mix metaphors, but the Phillies bandwagon has careened off the cliff. Their NL-worst record led manager Charlie Manuel to a landmark week of stupid... see if you can follow me:

Team loses badly to division rival Mets. Manuel continues to parrot his "we're GOING to win" routine. Reporter/douche Eskin calls him out for his BS. Manuel challenges him to a fight. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when you start fights with the media, all you accomplish is advertising your own idiocy. ANYway, continuing his wonderful steerage of the good ship Illaphi, Mr. Manuel proceeds to move his overall best pitcher-cum-wifebeater, Brett Myers, to the bullpen. Because, well, we all know that setup men are more valuable than starters. That's why so many of the games' premiere hurlers are in the setup role, right? Myers is by no means a world-beater, but one glance at his stats tells me that any team in the league would love to trot him out there every 5th day. Oh, and as for last night's game, the Phillies managed to lose to the NATIONALS, in 13 innings, without their best reliever, Tom Gordon, throwing a single pitch. Bra-fucking-o, Mr. Manuel. That's hard to do. By the way, Chris Snelling scored the winning run.
Ordinarily, I defend managers. I think it's too easy to place blame for organization-wide mistakes at their feet. And I generally like the calm, optimistic, player-supporting managerial style (see: Torre, Joe) of which, until this week, Manuel has been a good example.

With his blowup this week, he's shattered that. Couple it with his panic moves (Flip-flopping on the Chase/Howard batting order, Myers to the pen) and it's pretty clear that he is neither in control of the team, nor following any sort of larger strategy. Manuel even dropped a "Myeh" the other day. Seriously, read this. Quoth the Flyin' Hawaiian, Shane Victorino: "Everything is bitter around here."

So, in short, it's time for Charlie to go. Don't let the door hit your fat ass on the way out, you ancient, idiotic shithead.

Kate is a huge Phillies fan, but even she's starting to wonder if it isn't time to dump Billy Zane.



  • "False Hustle" ... add that one to the team name list.

    By Blogger dinosaur8000, at 1:28 PM  

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