Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Home Run Derby    

This year's derby was okay. The display was pretty good, it was nice to see Alex Rios make a name for himself, and Pac Bell Park (or whatever) is always nice to look at. So, overall... perfectly acceptable.

What isn't perfectly acceptable is Joe Morgan and Chris Berman broadcasting the same event, ever. Ever ever ever.

I am surely not the first to say that, and I suspect I won't be the last. I just witnessed an excruciating evening of live television.

You'd think I could live without the sound. It's just batting practice, right? Oh no. This is an event that doesn't work with the sound down. You need to hear the roar of the crowd. But to get that roar, you also need to accept the autofellative commentary of Berman and Morgan! Their me-first act doesn't end when the games do... they're always like that!!! Ugh. National ignorance alert level: orange!

And it's both of them at once! A nuclear holocaust of sports television! That's like getting cancer and AIDS in the same day. It's like surviving a plane crash over the ocean, only to get eaten by a shark. It's like having two giraffes rape me at the same time. There we go, that's it: Berman and Morgan are like a double dose of giraffe dick in my mouth.

But otherwise, nice job ESPN! Nice job eating out of an elephant's ASS, that is! PWN3D

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  • Am I the only one who thought Gammons was mid-stroke during his performance? Dude could barely get a sentence out.

    By Blogger Alex, at 12:54 PM  

  • Can't say I paid him much mind, but I also wasn't itching for a fight against Gammo. IMO he's earned the right to call a mulligan on anything he ever does from here on out. (Berman, on the other hand... nnnnnnope. THAT ONE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO SAUSALITO!!!!!!!!! Eat a dick, fatty.)

    Gammo talked to Bonds for a while, right? Maybe that's why I didn't notice him. The moment my eyes see Barry, I'm Superfly TNT... with the mute button.

    By Blogger Jeff, at 1:12 PM  

  • I agree - Gammo's the best. I was worried about his health is all.

    By Blogger Alex, at 11:31 AM  

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