Dear Sir:
I am writing to request that you explore aquiring one (1) center fielder, post haste. As you may be aware, there is a large section of the playing field between the foul lines, and I feel we could really use three (3) players to patrol the wide expanse beyond the infield. Given the current state of Mr. Bernie Williams, I have been forced to place a backup second baseman in this most critical defensive position on the field, not to mention adorning the bottom of my batting order with the third worst player in all of baseball. The results speak for themselves.
Please, heed this call and kindly send one (1) center fielder with all speed. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Mr. Cashman, you're our only hope.
Yours in Christ,
Joe Torre
Manager
P.S. There's this young buck named Ken Griffey Jr. who might be available. You might have seen his dad play back in the day. I hear he's pretty good.
I am writing to request that you explore aquiring one (1) center fielder, post haste. As you may be aware, there is a large section of the playing field between the foul lines, and I feel we could really use three (3) players to patrol the wide expanse beyond the infield. Given the current state of Mr. Bernie Williams, I have been forced to place a backup second baseman in this most critical defensive position on the field, not to mention adorning the bottom of my batting order with the third worst player in all of baseball. The results speak for themselves.
Please, heed this call and kindly send one (1) center fielder with all speed. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Mr. Cashman, you're our only hope.
Yours in Christ,
Joe Torre
Manager
P.S. There's this young buck named Ken Griffey Jr. who might be available. You might have seen his dad play back in the day. I hear he's pretty good.
posted by Alex at
9:42 AM
1 Comments:
If the Yankees acquired Griffey, he would immediately hurt himself, and possibly even die. Can you die from a pulled hamstring?
The last I heard about Griffey's contract was that too much of the sum is deferred for a trade to actually happen. I guess if anyone could take him it's the Yankees, but if they did they'd be blocking hot prospect Melky "Whoops" Cabrera. (Doesn't that have a nice ring? Melky "Whoops" Cabrera.) And that contract damn near ensures that Griffey will pass through waivers, thus allowing a hypothetical August trade to happen. Maybe the Yanks will wait until August 31 and decide that if he's healthy by then, he'll be healthy all year, and trade for him.
At which point, of course, he will contract encephalitis of the testes while running out a ground ball, out for the year and most of 2006. Ka-ching!
By
Jeff, at 10:27 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home