Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Dananananananana, hey! WE SUCK    

I'd like to address something that saddens me, deep in the cocles of my heart.  At first I didn't believe it could be true, but after a good deal of subconscious digestion, I now believe it to be fact.

Boston fans suck.

I'm beginning to think this city didn't deserve to win after all.  The behavior of the Fenway "faithful" this season has been nothing short of shameful.  Booing Edgar Renteria within weeks of his first appearance?  Booing Keith Foulke, without the slightest degree of understanding that his 2005 performance is an unavoidable result of his 2004 performance?  Booing Manny Ramirez for committing the mortal sin of demanding the same trade he's been demanding ever since he signed here?!?  Good lord, I wonder why he'd want out.  If it were me, and I were having second thoughts about asking out of Boston, getting booed like that mere months after being named World Series MVP would make those doubts disappear into thin air.  I would have expected this kind of repulsive behavior from Philly fans, not New Englanders.  Truly disgusting.  I clearly don't speak for the rest of my fair city when I say this, but I'd like to apologize to every sports fan in every city in America (except New York and Philly, you all suck) for Boston's behavior the past 3-4 months.

By the way, if any of you Philly fans are reading this, presuming Philly fans can read at all, take a good look at Sox fans right now, because we're your future.  When the Iggles or Flyers or Phillies finally do it, you'll be just like this.  I hoped it wouldn't be true, but it is... once a miserable sports fan, always a miserable sports fan.


  • speaking of philly fans... they do in fact suck. as do new york fans. as do boston fans.
    That said, Philly fandom has had a few real gems over the years. Everyone knows about governor Rendell offering 20 bucks to anyone in the crowd who could hit the Cowboys' bench with a snowball, leading to an incident which today would be the lead story on sportscenter for 3 straight weeks, but few remember this: when the Eagles were in their "we suck, we really really suck" phase in the mid nineties, every home game was blacked out due to poor attendance. In response, a stalwart group bought every ticket in an entire section. For the entire 3rd quarter, every person in the section turned their backs to the field. Sweet.
    Finally, Philly taught me to yell "sucks" after every visiting player is introduced, a tradition I proudly carry on to this day. It's fantastic.
    Oh, and I was at a Wings (indoor lacrosse) game a few years ago, and the opposing team's best player had massive dredlocks, and EVERY SINGLE TIME he touched the ball, the Spectrum's PA system would blast "dude looks like a lady". Glorious.

    By Blogger Alex, at 12:16 PM  

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