Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Playoff observations so far:    

Obviously the inside the park home run is pretty cool. More obviously, Torii Hunter screwed that play up massively. The talking heads all said stuff like, “Well, you can’t blame him, he’s being aggressive, and that aggressiveness is what makes him good.” Well, screw that. Aggressive is good, yes, but if you misread a ball, it’s still a misread. He had 0 chance at that ball- it’s not like he missed by an inch. It’s like a defender in frisbee laying out way late and nowhere close to the disc, then getting broken for a 40 score. Aggressive? Yes. And also unforgivably stupid.

The Jeff Kent / J.D. Drew orgy at home plate. Egads, what a play. It was only the second inning of Game 1, and already Grady Little has sent a shot across my bow, making it very clear that there’s no way in hell he’s letting my Dodgers World Series prediction happen. That said, the replay shows Drew barreling around third, stumbling like a frat boy in a keg race, head down. So maybe you can’t blame the coaches. I will anyway. My first reaction was to channel Walton: “That’s HORRIBLE”. Then the ESPN booth went real quiet for a few seconds, and just erupted in a fit of giggling. Bravo, guys. Really really good stuff, and I’m not being sarcastic. Here’s a bunch of ex-players, reacting exactly how you’d expect. No righteous indignation, no proclamations that kids today don’t play the game the right way. None of that. They read the situation as the ridiculous SNAFU clusterfuck of awful that it really was, and had the proper, natural, human reaction – humor.

And speaking of the Dodgers…
Jonathan Broxton has an enormous ass. Michelle pointed this out to me immediately, while I was busy being impressed with his stat chart. Good lord, that thing is large and in charge. It looks like he’s carrying triplets in there. Can someone please put together a ytmnd featuring Broxton’s windup and Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back?”

Here, by way of comparison, is Mrs. Broxton and the legendary symbol of Matriarchal power, the Venus of Willendorf. I've also juxtaposed an artist's rendering of Jonathan. See if you can decide which is which.

So far, so good, though last night’s rainout sucked. It was an eye opener for me, cause I got really really down when the game got postponed. It made me realize how big a part of my life baseball has been the past couple months, and how down I am on a couple other aspects of my life right now (work, frisbee). Baseball has been a constant source of entertainment, and last night showed, perhaps unhealthily so. But anyway…

Conspiracy theories went around last night, because Verlander came out and stretched pre-game, while Mussina stayed on ice, leading to speculation that MLB told the Yankees the game wasn’t going to start on time and didn’t tell the Tigers. Pretty silly sounding to me. That said, someone really should have told the fans, who sat there for like 4 hours with nothing to do except smell each other’s BO before the game got called. On the plus side, this allowed ESPN to drag Baseball Tonight out all evening, which gave us many hours of Vernon Wells, who is a good replacement for Harold Reynolds. I like Wells’ commentary a lot – he’s not big on overstating matters. I didn’t like the 400 shots of the douche in the stands holding up a sign that read, “Yankee Reign Delay”… hey- assbag – the Yankees lost last year, thus no “Reign”. Ass.


  • I was at the Dodgers-Mets game last night, and that play was even more bizarre in person:

    * Kent was obviously going to be out by the time the cutoff man got the ball. Drew had yet to round third. If I could tell, the coaches probably could too, and the only reason I could think that they waved him home was that the sun was behind right field (where the ball was coming from).

    * As soon as Lo Duca got the ball and went to tag Kent out, Drew completely froze. If he had kept running, he probably could have levelled Lo Duca and scored. Kaufman has a similar take here.

    * Do NOT mess with Shawn Green this close to Yom Kippur. The Dodgers should have f@#%ing better known better.

    Other observations:

    * During team introductions, every time someone from the Dodgers was announced, everyone chanted "sucks!", even for the coaches, batboys, etc. So you'd hear "Trainer John Doe ... SUCKS."

    * Guillermo Mota came out to pitch/bat to "Move It". If he had hit a grand slam instead of flying out to center when he came up to bat, he would have become my new favorite pitcher.

    * There were snipers on the roof. Except when the hot dog guy came around in the 6th.

    * Delgado's homerun, which barely cleared center (410 ft) was measured as a 470 footer. Riiiiight.

    * Cliff Floyd's nickname among Met's fans is "Tits." "Titties" is also acceptable. Also, when yelling "c'mon Tits!" it's key to trail off a bit in the middle: "C'MOOoooon ... TITS!"

    * The two-drink-at-a-time max and the 7th inning cutoff are myths.

    * This one dude got so drunk he passed out, followed by his friend punching him in the throat to wake up (didn't work). Then, after several innings without any signs of life, and Wagner on the verge of blowing the game, he mumbled pathetically: "you're physically hurting me." See, we're not all that different.

    On that note, go Padres!

    By Blogger chas, at 6:05 PM  

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