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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dan Shaughnessy: Douchemaster General    

I remember reading Bob Ryan and Peter Gammons as a kid and thinking, "I would love to do that."  And then reading Shaughnessy and thinking, "I'll stick to math."  In my opinion, a mastermind of sports criticism (me) was lost to the field forever thanks to that lipless piece of shit.  But thanks to blogging technology, that talent has been put to use again, albeit for a smaller audience.  In some small way, things have been set right.

Oh wait... Shaughnessy said yesterday that blogs are stupid.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present a man who gets paid to write about sports!

(As befits the crappiest of the crap, I refuse to honor it with the benefit of a direct link.  I'm sure if you Google on "globe boston shiteating douchebag fuckface asshole cunt cunt cunt cunt" you'll find it soon enough.)

I will, however, link to some genuine, honest, and accurate analysis: the dissection of the above piece by American hero Ken Tremendous!  I went in assuming that CHB would get skewered via the Artful Comedy Joke just like everyone else, but it seems like ol' Ken took the anti-blog sentiment personally, to the point where he put down the vitriol, laid it all out plain and simple, and knocked it out of the ballpark.  Rarely does someone get so thoroughly pantsed, even those who appear on FJM on a regular basis.

I can't add a whole lot to Ken's thoughts, other than to reiterate that every newspaper column ever written on the topic of blogs has been neanderthalic, outdated, afraid, ignorant, self-preservationist, closed-minded, and above all else devoid of even cursory evidence.  (It was very hard for me not to add the word "douchebaggish" to that list.)  These are the death rattles of a bloated, unnecessary industry that is being brought to its knees by the proletariat.  It's internet Marxism, and it works.

In closing, I look forward to the day when budget cuts at the Globe force them to lay CHB's mean-spirited ass off, because I will throw the party to end all parties in celebration of his departure.  Oh what a beautiful day it will be.



  • For another hilarious example of this BS, I can't recommend Steve Kelley highly enough, or lowly enough, or whatever. He's the epitome (well, let's call him an epitome, since he has so much competition) of total hack sportswriter who in another industry would no longer have a job.

    Following your lead, I'll link to USSM's reaction instead of his actual article. Not necessarily all that insightful, but you get the idea. I particularly love that he says, "I'm conjuring an image of..." instead of actually quoting any blogs. It's classic.

    By Blogger Jesse, at 4:52 PM  

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