Postgame Spread
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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Thanks, CBS    

So the good folks over at have unearthed some hilarious complaints to the FCC regarding the greatest halftime show ever. Yes, apparently America just isn't ready for the sexiest man in history doing his thing, but they are ready to complain using phrases like "cum covered sheet" and "elarged engorged"... hooray America!

No, wait. Screw America. Hooray Prince!
On a side note, I hereby suggest that Prince name his next album Enlarged Engorgeous.

Finally, this one is probably a joke, but hoo boy is it funny nontheless.



  • Page 10 is my favorite, when the guy complains that one of the Snickers mechanics "simulates an erection" with the candy bar. That sure was good for some lolly roffles, Mao. I don't have any recollection of the Snickerboner, but it could not have been that obvious. Obviously this is not the first time he's looked at a Snickers bar and seen penis. I have no choice but to assume he has a latent desire to wrap his lips around dark chocolate and nuts.

    Also, Alex, I think the top link is broken.

    By Blogger Jeff, at 1:01 PM  

  • I'm partial to page 5, where the complaint includes:

    "I am very offended and I would preffer [sic] not to have showed [sic] it to my 4 children who love football. [ed: he must have other children who do not love football] One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay."

    By Blogger Gabriel, at 1:13 PM  

  • This is wonderful all around. Two relatively random observations:

    1) Prince, a "one-hit has-been?" Wow. Has-been maybe, but that's a remarkably clueless remark, though he did say he had grandkids.

    2) "CBS Sportsproducers knew, that when the former penist Prince brought out that guitar it wasn't going to be good." Bad grammar aside, this does point to the most interesting facet of this. At first I thought they actually were clueless enough to not know what that guitar was going to look like. But I think they do want those controversies. It just adds to the hype of the whole thing. Is anyone going to actually stop watching the Superbowl. Plus, if you say how horrible it was, you also get the chance to moralize like crazy and seem like the defender of wholesomeness against the lecherous intentions of the Jacksons, Timberlakes, and Princes of the world. Classic.

    3) The phrasing of these is amazing. The woman who said it looked like a huge penis with a pitchfork on the end: "It was not only profane it was very sadistic...Please look into this further. Thanks in advance!" Hillarious.

    4) I wonder how many of these are jokes. The guy who said he is now actually thinking about testing his son for AIDS seems like a prime candidate. On the other hand, one actually contains the following quote: "One guy takes out a candy bar, peels off the wrapper, and inserts it into his mouth, with evident sensual pleasure. So far, so good." Despite the fact that he had already referred to these two guys as down home country boys, he manages to make it quite clear that he is not joking, which was pretty magical. So, who knows?

    What a treat though.

    By Blogger Jesse, at 5:15 PM  

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