Postgame Spread
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly    

THE GOOD
Pittsburgh Penguins to stay in PA
This news couldn't be any better.

You gotta love when a team stays.  Recent examples of teams avoiding a move: the New England Patriots are the NFL's model franchise, the Buffalo Sabres are an NHL juggernaut and Cup favorite, the New Orleans Saints nearly made the Super Bowl, and the Minnesota Twins are a perennial playoff contender with the best pitcher in baseball.  The Ottawa Senators aren't too shabby either.  The Oakland A's are already in great shape, and they just negotiated a new stadium (though not in the East Bay).  All of those teams narrowly avoided relocation in recent memory.  All are as healthy and vibrant as possible, largely as a result of staying.  100% success.

Meanwhile, how many of the teams that did move have had success?  The St. Louis Rams and Baltimore Ravens worked out, as did the Colorado Avalanche, and the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets are mezze-mezze, but look at the Washington Nationals, the Oakland Raiders, and the Memphis Grizzlies.  Heck, arguably the Hornets too.  Barf.  Moving sure hasn't been the solution for them across the board.

(Okay, that's not an entirely fair claim, but it's interesting nonetheless that the teams that stay are uniformly in great shape.  Unless I'm forgetting someone?)

THE BAD (tie)
Bonds talks 2008
I hope he signs with the Yankees, just to fuck with me a little more.  Seriously though, America, can we arrange for this guy to fall into an open sewer and die already?  Someone loosen a nut or something.  Is it really too much to ask?

Pavano staying with Yankees
Yes, waiter, I'll have the Connecticut-blackened human buttocks, please, and a glass of the house Cab.  Oh, and another basket of bread.  Nation fills up on bread!

THE UGLY
Another joke that writes itself
It figures that a week after Kevin McHale is named the best GM in the NBA, Isiah Thomas would be given a multi-year extension as both coach and GM.  Dear sweet merciful Jesus.  Didn't this guy, like, sexually harass people?  He's not just ignorant and ineffective (like, say, Doc Rivers) but he's actually malignant!  Stop giving this guy contracts?  He must talk one hell of a game.  And this Dolan character must be remarkably stupid.  I'm so, so very grateful that the Red Sox didn't accept his ownership bid back in the day.

(Although it's fun to ponder what the alternate reality would look like: Bill Bavasi would've been signed away from the Mariners to be the GM, Papelbon would have been tossed into the Beckett/Lowell trade, and J.D. Drew would have been signed to a $70m deal.)

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