Postgame Spread
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

OK, So I Lied    

I know, I know, I didn't keep my promise. But so much cool shit happened today! In 24 hours, the sports world's wheels flew off. They flew right the fuck off. Like when an Olympic luge participant farts in the wrong direction and the sled flies out from under him and shoots him 50 feet in the air. You know?

Seriously though, the NBA is just getting SMOTHERED. You couldn't script a bigger PR disaster. You can feel legitimate rage in otherwise sensible media types. For example, anyone read that Steve Kerr link in the comments of my first post on the matter? He sounded rather critical, didn't he? But that's not him. He's a "team X has to do this, they're getting the ball to player Y" type guy. And yet he took the time to add a touch of sarcasm into his otherwise milquetoast column. That's what I'm talking about. Even the vanilla-faces are bloviating. It's uplifting.

The highlights:

* Kaufman summed up absolutely everything. Everything. No other reasonable thoughts on this topic have occurred to anyone, anywhere. Bravo.

* Simmons, meanwhile, wrote his best column in years. THIS is the Sports Guy who forced his way into ESPN. Of all the times I've read him and thought to myself, "he summed up exactly how I feel," this one beats them all. Even the famous Roger Clemens column isn't as 100%-on-the-money as this one.

* Most stunning of all? SPORTSCENTER ANCHORS ACTUALLY CRITICIZED THE NBA!!! Brian Kenny hated on the ruling! I heard him do it! "Talk about rules that need to be changed," he said. OK, fine, so it was in reference to soccer overtime in the UEFA Cup, but it was obviously a jab at the leaving-the-bench thing! Besides, even a snide aside out of context is WAY off the reservation by ESPN standards. Getting an ill word of any kind out of a SC anchor in 2007 is like getting Jeffrey Dahmer to eat and rape, like, ten guys. (Actually, that wouldn't be so hard. But you get the idea.)

The point is that this is officially a major, major disaster. It's a referendum on the NBA. The vote is overwhelmingly negative.

And it's awesome. Invigorating, even.

I can't wait another two hours.

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