Postgame Spread
You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Series For The Championship Of The World Until Next Week    

Geez, this is gonna be, like, the worst Sox-Yanks ever.  Not a single candidate for Lehr's Game of the Week post.  This week's pitchers are the chunks of the crop... no cream to be found.  Wang?  Mussina?  Pettitte?  Wakefield?  Schilling?  BO-RING!  If the staff aces aren't involved (Gabbard, DeSalvo, Clippard) then I just ain't interested.

No, I'm still excited.  I gotta be.  But it's hard to get too worked up when only a sweep either can will cause a monumental change in the situation at the end of the series.

Red Sox sweep: Still wouldn't call it over, not even with a 13.5-game lead, but I'd at least start drafting an "eliminated" post
Yankees sweep: The sun rises, the sun sets, and my life is ruined by the Yankees

Not that I won't be happy without a sweep... I just won't learn anything.  What's one game here or there?  The lead's 10.5.  The situation won't change.

But neither of those cases are likely.  It's more likely to be another dogfight.  Meaning nothing's really gonna happen.

How can that be?  How can Sox/Yankees have no effect on anything?  These series are supposed to be crucial every time around.  If nothing happens, then there's no meaning.  If there's no meaning, then the whole pursuit of Yankee MFers is pointless and moot.  But we know it's neither pointless nor moot because it's Sox/Yankees, resulting in a contradiction... one so gargantuan that the universe would shove its head into its own asshole and disappear.  So let's hope the Sox sweep, because I don't want to get lobbed feet-first into the asshole of the universe.

Actually, the worst outcome of a Yankee sweep would be the overuse of a classic idiot announcer gambit: the seemingly insurmountable lead that just got a tiny bit smaller, so they act like it can only get smaller!  A classic Chris Bermanism!

  • And it's an eighteen to FOURRRRR ballgame!
  • All of a sudden, the Bobcats have cut the lead to twenty-NINE!
  • The Red Sox' lead is down to SEVEN and a HALF... look out, cause here come the Yankees!
For the love of christ, let's hope that doesn't happen... we need to keep the mediots talking about what's really important: calling Giambi an idiot for actually trying to apologize to people for steroids.  What an ultra-maroon!


  • Nihilists... jesus.
    I mean, complain about the tenets of national socialism, but at least it's an ethos.

    By Blogger Alex, at 1:54 PM  

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