Postgame Spread: Phixing the Fillies

Thursday, December 20, 2007

So.... the Phillies come off their most exciting season in a decade, and proceed to lose their all-star caliber center fielder. They guy they traded Thome for. They rationalize letting him go cause, well, their offense is already awesome, and Howard/Chutley are only getting better.

What they need is PITCHING. A 5-man rotation of King Cole and pray-for-rain, pray-for-rain, pray-for-rain, pray-for-rain really isn't a sustainable strategy.

So, with that in mind, take a look at this vomit-inducing sentence from Jayson Stark:
"Free-agent pitching options the Phillies have looked into: Akinori Otsuka, Byung-Hyun Kim, Roberto Hernandez, Kris Benson, John Parrish, Sidney Ponson and Chad Durbin."

Yikes. That's a perfect storm of garbage right there. I'm only disappointed there's no mention of Ho-Ram and Weaver.

Labels: how fucking hard can it be to throw a goddamn strike, it ate EVERYTHING, MLB offseason, phillies

5 Comments:

Personally, I think Geoff Jenkins solves everything. Why boo Pat the Bat when you can boo Jenkins?

Also, congrats to the Phils on landing Durbin. That must have been a grueling negotiation.

By Jeff, at 12:09 PM
More frustrating Jenkins -
Michael NnnnnnnnnnnJ
or Geoff?

My vote is with Michael.

By Alex, at 8:59 AM
No, I vote for the original:

LEE-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY

NNNNNNNNNNNJENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS

By Jeff, at 10:20 AM
Check out this, this, and this.

And a couple of remixes

By chas, at 1:50 PM
Quote from Phillies GM Pat Gillick on the Jenkins signing: "At least I have chicken."

But seriously, they have to do something eventually, don't they? Can they not do better than Kyle Kendrick? Is B-Rad G really going to be their #1 offseason acquisition??? (Well, except for Doyle.)

By Jeff, at 4:55 PM