A Dick Slap for the Ages

This is the best thing you'll read all day (other than Obama's speech, maybe).

He's BAAAAACK

REEEEEEEEEE!!!!

RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

(8/22) Update: RRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

These ain't Jesse Owens' Olympics

Davis Phinney, ex-cycler, speaking about his experience at the Olympics with his son, Taylor (who competed in pursuit cycling):

"the reason I'm on such a buzz is we got into the Olympic Village. It's very restricted and even parents, even Olympic parents, can't get in there more than once. But just to be there in that realm where there are all these athletes -- it's like going to a superior planet. There are all these tall, sculpted, beautiful people walking around, and that's where I got the sense that these are Taylor's people now. This is his tribe. My tribe is the Parkinson's group. His tribe is Olympians."

That is creepy as all hell.

Ocho Cinco's Attempt to Get On America's Good Side Again

Chad Johnson, better known as Ocho Cinco, wants to wear the name "Ocho Cinco" on the back of his uniform instead of "Johnson."  But the NFL prohibits players from putting anything but their last names on the backs of their jerseys.

This rule leaves a rational person only one option.  But it leaves Ocho Cinco another option.

Jesus, if you're out there, and you love football, then please, please, please make this happen...

Well, that was fun

It's August 7th, and I'm ready to give up on the Yankees' season. Let's not be hasty the rest of the way - let the young kids heal (Joba, Kennedy, Hughes), let the oldsters rest up (Posada), and call this season a wash.

Our revenue is slated to double (DOUBLE) next year with the opening of the new stadium, up to around 600M or so. That's a spicy meatball. We should be able to buy whatever piece or two we need, but the key is the healthy development of our young arms.

Speaking of which, there is NO WAY Joba's not wearing a girdle here. Click, if you dare.

A raised fist for the 2000's

With the Olympics beginning, and Joey Cheek, founder of Team Darfur, a collection of olympic athletes dedicated to raising awareness of the atrocities in Sudan, barred from visiting China to support his teammates and speak out, I've been thinking of other ways that the athletes can make a statement, a la Tommie Smith and John Carlos in 1968.

I think that Hope Solo ripping off her jersey to reveal a shirt saying "Free Darfur" would be pretty good. I think Kobe throwing down a slam, dropping trou, and revealing a tattoo saying, "China, tell me how your genocide tastes" would be better, but probably hard to read.