Massholes on Parade: Not a monopoly

Yankee fans can be every bit as racist and myopic as our neighbors to the north!

Look, I love Paul O'Neill. He embodies much of my image of the late 90's team that forever will be the best sports experience of my life. It was when I recaptured my love of sports, forged my identity as an adult, and first got some. It was also when I rediscovered my connection with New York, a town I had left in 1992 as a sullen youth of 14, and was deeply conflicted by, but ultimately grew to love. During that time, Paul O'Neill was hailed as a classic "grinder", and definitely wouldn't be as famous had he played anywhere else, but still, he was a hell of a player. Not HOF worthy, but really good. And yes, I fully understand why fans of other teams hated his guts, but as a Yankee fan, his antics and fury were goddamn entertaining.

All of that said, the fans yelling racist shit at LaTroy Hawkins for having the gall to wear #21 in homage to Roberto Clemente can die in a fucking fire. And Paul ain't exactly helping: “What can I say? The fans have always been unbelievable to me there. I don’t really know how to explain it. It makes you feel good that the fans still think of you as wearing that number.” O'Neill regularly appears as a booth guy on YES broadcasts of games. I really, really hope he takes a moment to tell his fans to STFU, even if it's too late.

The Asshole Hall of Fame

Welcome, Coach Bobby Knight, to the inaugural class of the Asshole Hall Of Fame.

So, who else belongs? Simmons proposed a while ago to redesign the MLB hall of fame into tiers, so that one could recognize that there's a difference between players like, say, Jim Rice and Willie Mays. I'll combine his design with Dante's concept of hell to my hall. A hall for the rest of us. Those of us who value shit talking and haterade more than quality play or character.

Tier 1 - The Foyer of Insufferable Pricks
Much like the outer rim of hell, this vestibule is reserved for borderline candidates. These are the folks who either weren't quite horrible enough human beings, or not good enough athletes. You see, you gotta be both good at your job and evil at life to merit true enshrinement in Dis. Worthy candidates for Tier 1 include John Rocker, Mercury Morris, and Paul O'Neill.

Tier 2 - The Shut the Fuck Up Great Room
The largest section of the Hall, in the STFUGR can be found all those people who make everyone in the room stupider each time they open their fat gobs. While broadcasters can be found here, they have to have done something especially unforgivable to warrant induction. Hence, Jimmy the Greek has a spot, but not Joe Buck. Other candidates for Tier 2 include Joe Morgan, John Madden, Terrell Owens, and Bobby Fischer.

Tier 3 - The I Am Not A Role Model Elite
This tier is reserved for figures who not only dominated the game in their time, but transcend sports, providing negative role models that any parent can be horrified to see their son adopt as their newest hero. Candidates include Ty Cobb, Knight, Dale Ernhardt, Isiah Thomas, and Charles Barkley if we ever find out he keeps a thai slaver in his fab 5.

Tier 4 - The Mouth of the Beast
Reserved for the creme de la creme, those individuals whose crimes against humanity are such an abomination as to call into question the judgement of the divine power that spawned athletic competition in the first place. These are the guys who make one think, "Man, if (that guy) is the best we've got, this sport is totally fucked". This one is way harder to put a finger on though. Possible candidates include OJ Simpson, Barry Bonds, and Osi Umenyiora

So that's it. Thoughts? Additional Tier suggestions? Other nominees?
It's a long way until March Madness, and there sure as shit ain't anything else remotely interesting going on.