Words (Briefly) Escape Me: Bruce Bowen Steps On Chris Paul's Junk

The NBA... where getting stomped in the Timbits happens!



The tone of reaction from folks who linked this video, appropriately, has not been outrage. It's been acceptance. The world apparently accepts that this is okay, and holds Bowen's behavior up, weakly, for ridicule.

There's been talk of late that David Stern's biggest failure as commissioner is what's happening in Seattle. Hard to argue against that choice based on the gravity of the end result. But at least that makes SENSE. Stern is employed ownership, and the Sonics situation, awful as it is, is nevertheless understandable based on Stern's job responsibilities. Wrong? Of course. Out of bounds? Not at all.

The classically dictatorial Stern's failure to discipline Bowen and curb his behavior, however... that is beyond comprehension for me. Stern is the biggest star-fucker of any sports commissioner in American history. Why does he allow his precioussssss superstars to be put at risk like this?

Back in the playoffs last year, I advocated banning Bruce Bowen for the balance of the playoffs, based not on the Game 4 incident in isolation but rather on Game 4 in the context of his body of work. I stand by that. I honestly believe that Bruce Bowen has accrued, at this point in his career, at least 30-40 regular season games' worth of unallocated suspensions. I also believe it would be justifiable, in the eyes of an omniscient and omnipotent God, to suspend Bowen for half of a regular season without pay.

In fact, how about this. Bowen just kicked a New Orleans Hornet in the beanbag. Bowen also seems to like being the face and voice of that unintentionally hilarious NBA Cares commercial. (The commercial wherein, miraculously, he resists the urge to kick those kids in their Achilles tendons while they're distracted by the story he's reading.) So why not have Mr. Charitable Contributions spend half a season rebuilding the Ninth Ward? Suspend him without pay, but then take the suspended salary away from the Spurs and allocate it to Habitat for Humanity. (The Spurs created this monster, so why let them keep the spoils?) That way any accusations made towards the controversial punishment will be shielded by 9/11-esque Katrina allusions! Gee, you know it's not fair, but I'd hate to take away from the rebuilding effort in New Orleans... there's so much left to be done... etc. etc.

A guy can dream, can't he? I put it to you that if the NBA really cared, they'd do exactly what I say.

NBA Moratorium: Fully Justified

I didn't say anything about this yesterday, but MJD's flawless take on the situation got me fired up.  Release the Crazy Jeff tag!

I tuned in for just a minute or two of the end of Game 4 in Utah... just long enough to catch the unconscionable flop by Manu Ginobili that led to the first of Derek Fisher's two technicals.

At that moment, I knew that my decision to abandon the NBA playoffs was correct.

When I say that the NBA is dead... that its legitimacy is fast plummeting towards the depths occupied by boxing, wrestling, and international soccer... and that David Stern needs to start handing out Ron Artest suspensions for generally unsportsmanlike play (not just isolated incidents, but for a player's body of work)... Ginobili's acting performance is exactly what I'm talking about.

Every bonehead who talks about what a fierce competitor Ginobili is, what a tough guy he is, should be forced to watch that shameless, gutless flop on a loop for an hour.  There's competitiveness, and there's sportsmanship.  Nobody can question Ginobili's competitiveness, but there isn't a drop of sportsmanship in his game.  Not one.  If you respect that piece of shit, even a little bit, you're a real sap, because he sure doesn't respect you very much.

It's well beyond Code Red time for Ginobili.  If it were 1984, that androgynous bald fuck would've gotten his teeth smashed in.  Larry Bird would have done it himself.  Of course, Ginobili would know better than pull that crap on the Celtics or Lakers, because those teams would fight back!

But we all know what would happen if Derek Fisher had delivered the curb-stomping that Ginobili so desperately deserves.  Long suspension for Fisher, nominal fine for Ginobili, Ginobili wins.

And that's not going to change.  Neither the NBA nor its players will fight back, because there's no money in it.  The players keep looking to the league to do something, since vigilantism incurs all kinds of fines and suspensions.  The league, meanwhile, knows that neither the outcome of past games nor income from future games will be affected by the kind of retroactive action I'm calling for.  Improving the quality of the on-court product doesn't affect the TV contract, the attendance figures, the merchandising, the endorsements, or anything else.  Why would they change anything?

And that's how the NBA became a joke.  They don't care, so why should I?

The Utah crowd spent the last four minutes of the game pelting the court (read: the Spurs and referees) with garbage.  I wish I could have joined them.

Oh, For The Love Of Mike

SLAPPY STRIKES AGAIN!



Guess I was wrong... there is someone who enjoys the work of Bruce Bowen.